So, I didn’t apply to uni this year because I had no clue as to what I wanted to study. And then I just realised, not only is my new year’s resolution to finally start learning how to speak Dutch, but I’ve always wanted to live in Holland for a short period of time. I just realised that I should use this year and my gap year to learn Dutch, then apply to go to university in Holland/The Netherlands! The advantages:

• University courses are way cheaper in Holland/The Netherlands
• I get to live there for 3 years which I was already going to do at some point in my life 
• I have some form of motivation to learn the language so that I can find work easier and possibly talk to Hollander/Dutch boys ;) 
• My dad wouldn’t have to insure me for my car for a few years until I come back when I’m much older and it will be much cheaper 
• Finally, I will have the experience of a life-time.

I’m so excited! 

1. Height:  5’10”
2. Shoe Size:  UK 9
3. Sexual Orientation:  8——-D  >  (l)
4. Do you Smoke? No
5. Do you Drink?  On the occasion
6. Do you Take Drugs? No
7. Age you get mistaken for: My own
8. Have Tattoos?  Yep  http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltn4rrFIEg1qez1o8o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1325530814&Signature=VhSRJhTJa4LC%2FlWEfnpVoLa0vSk%3D
9. Want any tattoos? Possibly more
10. Got any Piercings?  Yes: Both ears stretched 6mm, eyebrow and bottom right lip 
11. Want any piercings? I think I have enough already 
12. Best friend? Changes over time
13. Relationship status: Single for 18 years now
14. Biggest fears: Cancer, death and living an unfulfilled life
15. Biggest celebrity crush: Simon Amstell / Josh Thomas
16. Favorite Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You
17. I’ll love you if: You accept me for everything that I am
18. Someone you miss: My Nan and Oma. 
19. Most traumatic experience: Not sure =/
20. A fact about your personality: I’m very quiet and independent 
21. What I hate most about myself: I leave everything to the last minute
22. What I love most about myself: I am multi-talented and can accomplish something if I put my mind to it
23. What I want to be when I get older: Happily settled with someone who makes everyday worth waking up early for
24. My relationship with my sibling(s): We still talk and get along
25. My relationship with my parents: I know they love me unconditionally and I need to show my appreciation and love for them more
26. My idea of a perfect date: A night out to the west end then cuddles in bed watching stand up comedy 
27. My biggest pet peeves: Ignorant, narrow-minded people and snoring. Seriously, if you snore, it isn’t going to work out
28. A description of the girl/boy I like: Nobody comes to mind at the moment 
29. A reason I’ve lied to a friend: Little lies while I was in the closet because I wasn’t ready for people to know
30. What I hate the most about school: Getting into the same boring routines
31. What my last text message says: “Happy new year”
32. What words upset me the most: ’so gay, fag, retard/so retarded’
33. What words make me feel the best about myself: ‘funny’, ‘smart’, ‘lovely’, ‘marriage-type’
34. A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: Nothing
35. What I find attractive in boys: Great sense of humour, quirky voice… I am a sucker for someone who can make me laugh
36. Where I would like to live: I like living in London but it can be expensive. I’m thinking of going to the Netherlands for uni and possibly settle over there or stay here and settle in Brighton
37. One of my insecurities: My appearance
38. My childhood career choice: Professional skateboarder
39. My favourite ice cream: Strawberry (I’m not boring.. I just love strawberries)
40. Who I wish I could be: Someone who speaks at least 3 different languages, is tumblr famous and sexy.
41. Where I want to be right now: Gay clubbing
42. The last thing I ate: Pasta
43. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: Justin Bartha
44. A random fact about anything: Rugrats was the best cartoon to ever exist.

My 2011 new year’s resolutions were all complete:

• Pass driving test
• Pass AS levels
• Come out to close friends
• Come out to all friends
• Come out to family
• Eat more healthy

2012 new year’s resolutions:

• Continue going to gym and gain weight
• Pass A levels
• Go gay clubbing
• Start learning Dutch
• Stop sitting at home wishing for things to happen and get out more in order to make them happen.

I honestly can’t believe I completed everything before 2011 ended. Last year was about finding myself and doing the things I needed to make me happy. This year is about doing the things I have always wanted to do for years but got too distracted trying to be happy. But in the end, all I needed to do in order for that to happen was to be true to myself. Now that I am out of the closet and left behind the people who were holding me back, I can do the things I’ve always said I wanted to do such as going clubbing and start dating. Here’s to a new year!

Happy new year, everyone!

I just had my last week of junk food before I start weight training. My brother said he’ll pay for my gym membership as my Christmas present this year, but it means I have to change my diet. No more junk food for a while after this week. Eating healthier will be worth it in the end though; as I’ll be in better shape and have better skin. Who knows maybe I’ll do one of those topless tuesdays in the future.. like do a before and after picture every month or so. But not just yet, haha, no one wants to see this disgrace that I call my body.

My mum told my homophobic brother… and he’s okay with it! FYI, this is the same brother who said if I ever turn out gay he’ll beat the shit out of me; as it’s disgusting. Now I can get on with my life and finally put an end to the homophobic remarks from my family. I can finally imagine myself bringing a boy home to meet them. :)

Okay, so she just took me out of my room to say she’s sorry and that she loves me no matter what. She said that her and my dad only want me to be happy, it’s just that we’ve been through a lot in the past few years and it was too much for her. She explained how she reacted to my sister getting pregnant and she got over it just like she will get over this. Not the best coming out story I hoped for.. but at least I know everything is going to be okay.

Just came out to my mum and it went really bad. Excuse me while I scream into my pillow. ;(

I remember when I started to come out in August and said that I want to tell my parents by the new year. It’s now December. Ahh!

Don’t panic, Chris:

It’s not going to be as bad as I think. Plus, I’ve given myself some time to gain support from everyone else first. I just know that I’m going to panic and say it in the worst way possible. Like:

Then after explaining it I will be like:

I just know if I don’t tell them now I’ll end up never telling them. Leading to an unsatisfactory life of having an unwanted wife and kids that I don’t even want. Or living by myself. After all…